Let's all think back when things seemed to make sense. I'm not one for being sad or thinking the worst, but lately I have and that shyt is killing me. Like one minute I'm good next I'm dead sitting on my couch thinking why the fuck am I alive? Thats not good thoughts for a heathly 18 year old girl to be thinking. Sometimes I dont even want to get out of bed because I dont feel like walking out my house and stepping outside.
I'm not much of a person to sit around and be sad. Because I'll never get over it. One minute I'm sad next I'm mad or happy. Whats going on with me? I have the only mood swings, and I wish I could get these shyts under control. I don't want to be the sad lonely girl who cuts the world off from her, or worst her own family. My mothers friend made a comment that didn't bug me, didn't hurt me, but I had to think. She asked Mandy why are you getting so mean? It's not that I'm getting so mean, but I've been threw so much shyt that I've made this layer around me and that cuts people off from me. When I see something going good I fuck it up because I think its too good to be truth. Like I need some time to myself to really figure these things out.....
I'm not much of a person to sit around and be sad. Because I'll never get over it. One minute I'm sad next I'm mad or happy. Whats going on with me? I have the only mood swings, and I wish I could get these shyts under control. I don't want to be the sad lonely girl who cuts the world off from her, or worst her own family. My mothers friend made a comment that didn't bug me, didn't hurt me, but I had to think. She asked Mandy why are you getting so mean? It's not that I'm getting so mean, but I've been threw so much shyt that I've made this layer around me and that cuts people off from me. When I see something going good I fuck it up because I think its too good to be truth. Like I need some time to myself to really figure these things out.....
dave and BUSTERS!
so for my little brothers birthday my family and I went to Dave and Buster's in New Jersey... His cousin JoJo came and invited Giovana who brought her little brother along. It was cool, the ride there was long though. Only because my pony tale was too tight and I had the only car sickness. NO I'M NOT PREGNANT! For some reason everytime I tell my friends I'm not feeling good, I'm feeling sick, like I need to throw up or my tummy hurts, I'm f******* pregnant, like forreal? Must every girl who doesn't feel good above a certain age must be pregnant? I dont want kids right now and I'm not looking to have any until I'm out of college, married, have a job, has at least two cars, and a HOUSE ! I want a house before I have any children. I want children though. I do, I want at least two boys and a little girl. I wanted twin boys and a beautiful baby girl. I think thats one of a perfect family. But who could I have my kids with? LOL. When I was dating Kvon of course I thought to myself he would be my husband, and the father of my future kids, but that dream isnt coming true, but no worry's. I also wanted to have a multiracial child. I'm racial so I want my children to be the same.
Besides, the kids part me and Giovana had fun at the mall. After we played our games and ate, we walked around looking in stores and trying to find "cuties" LML! HA! The only funny thing is that a "cutie" found Giovana. He told her to buy some "candy" but she tried to work her magic to get him to give it to her for free. LMFAO. She really tried ! HONESTLY! But it wasnt Happening at all for her, which made it even more funny. He made the comment about our butts, our bodies EVERYTHING! I couldnt help but laugh, I told Giovana she should had NEVER made eye contact. See the rules of ignoreing UN WANTED convo from an UN WANTED male, is to NEVER look him in his eyes. Once you look he thinks he has your attention and he can talk to you. Now sometimes you may find your self trying to be "bagged" by a CUTE boy, but your not interrested, but you like the attention, here are a few steps.
Besides, the kids part me and Giovana had fun at the mall. After we played our games and ate, we walked around looking in stores and trying to find "cuties" LML! HA! The only funny thing is that a "cutie" found Giovana. He told her to buy some "candy" but she tried to work her magic to get him to give it to her for free. LMFAO. She really tried ! HONESTLY! But it wasnt Happening at all for her, which made it even more funny. He made the comment about our butts, our bodies EVERYTHING! I couldnt help but laugh, I told Giovana she should had NEVER made eye contact. See the rules of ignoreing UN WANTED convo from an UN WANTED male, is to NEVER look him in his eyes. Once you look he thinks he has your attention and he can talk to you. Now sometimes you may find your self trying to be "bagged" by a CUTE boy, but your not interrested, but you like the attention, here are a few steps.
- once he makes a SWEET, RESPECTABLE, UNDERSTANDING comment you smile and say thank you.
- you give a slight smile, not cheesey but always showing that your a sweet girl
- NEVER EVER EVER say somethin nasty or SLUTY.
If you have succsefully done all of that your not considered a whore, just a nice girl. But Giovana didnt know that lol.
Besides that i NEED anew me, so I'm going to think some things over and figure out what to do about that. lol,until then XOXO MANDA.
Besides that i NEED anew me, so I'm going to think some things over and figure out what to do about that. lol,until then XOXO MANDA.
Merry Christmas
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
So Merry Christmas to all. This Christmas I got what I wanted. Some Vicky things, sweats, Uggs, and my CUTE ass Mini HP =] . Nothing made me more happy then to open my gifts and see everything I had got. I was really happy. Even though my Uggs and Vicky things wont be shipped til like Jan somehting of next year lmfao ! But I'm still thankful for the things I got. My mom and step dad were trying to take pictures of me but i refused, bad hair day lol. But other then that everything for perfect. We decorating our tree a little late but that was cool, and I have this thing were I want to open my gifts at 12 lol and not in the morning. When I was younger i would really wait til the morning but i started the 12 o'clock opening when i was like in the 6th grade. And i still do it til today as you can see. Well I dont have much to say about Christmas but that I do feel bad for people who didnt even get anything. So for EVERYONE that did get a gift, PLEASE be truly thankful.
Pursuit of Happiness
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.
Most deff got a new coming out. After everything that i've been threw i know that im going to make it. Hopefully. IF GOD lets me & allows me i'll be something great. Plus i got a new hair cut so i guess I'm changing a little right. I haven't cried since last night but that's yesterday. God makes new days for a reason. To show people they always have a chance to change. Maybe he will change someday, not today but some day.
new perspective ?!
"I feel the salty waves come in. I feel them crash against my skin. And I smile as I respire because I know they'll never win.....Stop there and let me correct it. I wanna live a life from a new perspective. You come along because I love your face. And I'll admire your expensive taste. And who cares divine intervention. I wanna be praised from a new perspective, but leaving now would be a good idea. So catch me up im getting out of here......More to the point, I need to show. How much I can come and go. Other plans fell through. And put a heavy load on you. I know there's no more that need be said."
When I woke up this morning, I basically seen everything very differently. and the point that I didn't get was why? ... I guess when something that has a major impact on you, it wakes you up? out of this deep coma of pure fantasy that was never really there. maybe this perfect dream world , where everything couldn't go wrong. where the person you loved & thought loved you back could never rip your heart out & crush it. but in that moment when that all comes falling down you realize that maybe it was just a hopeless dream that you was stuck in... & maybe you should be happy your out of it? but if it was so good to be out of it why does this new world seem so cold. is that really life? is life all about hurting. cause if it is I don't want to be alive. you feel so many feelings so many things when you grow up. but when you feel love its like you've found the meaning of life. the meaning of everything. the true meaning of God. My religion teacher told me you don't know god until you've found love. so your telling me your first love is like God? like finding what it fully means to be alive? but what does it mean when that Love is gone?
whatever the case maybe I can't be sad.. I HAVE to be strong. if not for myself ... then for who ?
xoxo Amanda .
whatever the case maybe I can't be sad.. I HAVE to be strong. if not for myself ... then for who ?
xoxo Amanda .
I thought you were different....
REALLY written Dec 8,2009.
falling out of love is hard... its even harder when the other person does it before you & the love they had turns into only "like". why? why when things seem good you have to ruin them. I didn't ask for much from him. I barely told him how I really felt out of pure fear. fear for losing him & fear for losing myself. when some one has hurt you as much as he as to me it isn't easy. its really OVER Now and what kills me the most is I'm the one who said it. All I did was ask him to tell me how he felt about me and he couldn't even do that much. It takes a lot for me to open up these days and for you to throw it all away just like that breaks me down. you CAN'T break my heart, honestly can't. cause sometimes I feel like I don't even have a heart. But I keep reminding myself of the times we did have. what did I do that was so wrong? was it wrong for me to say "I can't do it, I'm sorry its over". And you never write back to me? I WAS WRONG? NO! I wasn't when you've given someone your all & their not doing the same what more can you do but pull out. I didn't want too. I REALLY didn't. I thought this time around it would be different. I thought he was going to be different. that I was going to feel safe. But I didn't, & I told him that. I explained that I didn't trust him because he's hurt me before. I told him I didn't even want to tell him that cause I didn't want to lose him..... but its over now so does it even matter to think about it? I guess not.... its just cause everything hurts a lot right now.
xoxo Amanda .
falling out of love is hard... its even harder when the other person does it before you & the love they had turns into only "like". why? why when things seem good you have to ruin them. I didn't ask for much from him. I barely told him how I really felt out of pure fear. fear for losing him & fear for losing myself. when some one has hurt you as much as he as to me it isn't easy. its really OVER Now and what kills me the most is I'm the one who said it. All I did was ask him to tell me how he felt about me and he couldn't even do that much. It takes a lot for me to open up these days and for you to throw it all away just like that breaks me down. you CAN'T break my heart, honestly can't. cause sometimes I feel like I don't even have a heart. But I keep reminding myself of the times we did have. what did I do that was so wrong? was it wrong for me to say "I can't do it, I'm sorry its over". And you never write back to me? I WAS WRONG? NO! I wasn't when you've given someone your all & their not doing the same what more can you do but pull out. I didn't want too. I REALLY didn't. I thought this time around it would be different. I thought he was going to be different. that I was going to feel safe. But I didn't, & I told him that. I explained that I didn't trust him because he's hurt me before. I told him I didn't even want to tell him that cause I didn't want to lose him..... but its over now so does it even matter to think about it? I guess not.... its just cause everything hurts a lot right now.
xoxo Amanda .
don't want to figure this out.
okay today is Dec 1,2009 and is my F I R S T full day of school. One I came during 3rd period. Thank God for that for the simple fact that I didn't miss my English test. However during Music which is fourth period announcements for seniors came on. Mr. Duff was calling a list down. WHAT THE FUCK! one he called my name three times. -_- .
okay...
- yeah I missed basically two weeks of school
- yeah I owed ONE detention
But why is my name being called down for Ms.Darling? I gave that woman all my information. And if St.Michael's knows I was out of school for those two weeks why am I being called for her again? You can't give me demerits for messing a group meeting when I wasn't even in for that day? How is that fair? I tried asking Ms.Darling why was I there but she dismissed me once again. Im getting really tired of that bitch dismissing me! Seriously, be an adult and if a student is trying to inform you that they gave you everything don't try to keep them there for the whole time. On top of that she didn't look at me when I was asking her a question. Im getting pretty tired of her doing that shyt where I ask her something and she can't even look at me. THAT'S JUST RUDE! And honestly I don't think she's doing a good job. First off she acts like its "us" who never have any thing right where as for her I heard she was losing things. Rude JERK! St. Michael's is going down hill. After a couple of teachers, etc. left its like the schools gotten boring, dry, everything that describes UNFUN. Just plain unfun. Yeah school isn't all about the "FUN" but come on something has to give right?!
I swear if they try to play it off like I don't have everything I WILL BLOW ST.MICHAELS UP! ughhhhhh. fucking school man. IS blowing mine ! -_- .
xoxo Amanda .
okay...
- yeah I missed basically two weeks of school
- yeah I owed ONE detention
But why is my name being called down for Ms.Darling? I gave that woman all my information. And if St.Michael's knows I was out of school for those two weeks why am I being called for her again? You can't give me demerits for messing a group meeting when I wasn't even in for that day? How is that fair? I tried asking Ms.Darling why was I there but she dismissed me once again. Im getting really tired of that bitch dismissing me! Seriously, be an adult and if a student is trying to inform you that they gave you everything don't try to keep them there for the whole time. On top of that she didn't look at me when I was asking her a question. Im getting pretty tired of her doing that shyt where I ask her something and she can't even look at me. THAT'S JUST RUDE! And honestly I don't think she's doing a good job. First off she acts like its "us" who never have any thing right where as for her I heard she was losing things. Rude JERK! St. Michael's is going down hill. After a couple of teachers, etc. left its like the schools gotten boring, dry, everything that describes UNFUN. Just plain unfun. Yeah school isn't all about the "FUN" but come on something has to give right?!
I swear if they try to play it off like I don't have everything I WILL BLOW ST.MICHAELS UP! ughhhhhh. fucking school man. IS blowing mine ! -_- .
xoxo Amanda .
the idea of me part 2.
all i can think about right now i college. and applying to college and what ima do when im in college. OMG ! thinking about this scares the hell out of me. IDK what to do or what i want. But i do know the colleges im applying to :)
Precious
I had recently seen the movie precious and it made me think allot about the relationship's that are between parents and children. As far as i know i have a good relationship with my mom , but i don't know about my father too much. My mom had me when she was 18 years old. Ever since then always looked up to her. I used to want to be just like her. She was the light , my star, the apple of my eye. Basically everything. She meant the world to and she does. But idk about my father. When i was 6 my parents separated. I wasn't like sacred for life or anything because i still seen him but i don't think he deserved the father of the year award. See...
I FUCKING LOVE MY FATHER! He cant always give me what i want but when he can he does. However, right now i cant really respect him because we're not talking at the moment. He did something that i couldn't respect very much. He basically caused a scene in public on 44th st, in front of my mothers job while my close friend Alex was with me. You know that thing where the one man in your life is your dad and you never want anything bad to happen between you two, but when something does you feel worst in side if your boyfriend crushed you? Well that's how i felt. Alex was saying if i was okay but i just held the tears in and told her i was fine. She was stroking my hair and telling that what he did was wrong and she was shocked her self.
Being hurt by your parents i think is honestly the worst..... Who knows if I'll ever speak to my dad again maybe... sooner or later.
I FUCKING LOVE MY FATHER! He cant always give me what i want but when he can he does. However, right now i cant really respect him because we're not talking at the moment. He did something that i couldn't respect very much. He basically caused a scene in public on 44th st, in front of my mothers job while my close friend Alex was with me. You know that thing where the one man in your life is your dad and you never want anything bad to happen between you two, but when something does you feel worst in side if your boyfriend crushed you? Well that's how i felt. Alex was saying if i was okay but i just held the tears in and told her i was fine. She was stroking my hair and telling that what he did was wrong and she was shocked her self.
Being hurt by your parents i think is honestly the worst..... Who knows if I'll ever speak to my dad again maybe... sooner or later.
Great Things To Come! :)
So in Feb i will be going to both Hawaii and Spelmen College. Hawaii was my moms idea. My step dads brother's wife has a house out there so this whole big family trip is being planned. And of course i invited my BEST FRIEND to come along. I know Giovana loves going and traveling to different places, and we have a Mid-Break so HEY! Might as well bring her ass! ILHER. And the Spelmen trip is to visit my dream school. AHHHHHH! Spelmen is a top school. All Black, in the ATL. and just down right perfect. I would love to go there and then join AKA ! My mom really wants me to join AKA so badly. But Mrs.McClintock says " amanda seriously? a girl like you? your too sm
art to jin that. i thought you would have the brains enough to know better. SERIOUSLY!" lol i do like mrs.mcclintock and i respect her say but its my choice!!! SO COUNTDOWN TO BOTH THANK GOD!
Simple or Mistake?
Well everyone knows i make very bad choices! And almost all the time i cant make up my mind. But if I'm being stupid and not doing something right fuck yo some one just tell me deadass! Sometimes i think that going back to you is the best idea and then you do shyt. Like shouldnt i just let some things go? I guess some people may say yeah AMANDA let some things go. BUT i cant ! I HAVE A HABBIT of holding on to things that ehhhh maybe i shouldnt?!
JUST WILL SOMEONE SMACK SENSE AND WISDOM IN ME ! >:o
month of nov !
New month new things?!well this month is like I guess something new. I found out that in Feb I might be going to Hawaii which will be great cause I need a lil break from this fucking crazy ass place. Besides that good news my school shyt is fucking up. I havnt failed any of my classes but I didn't get any honors I could kick Mr.Duff's ass! I didn't fucking get honors because that bald headed eagle gave me dermits like 3 in one shot n then 2 more the next day. Like it seemed like this punk bitch was happy about that ! Fucking lser I swear. Now he always trying to say hi to me n shyt and I just walk away like as if I don't know him. He gonna ask Sade why doesn't Amanda say hi to me? Because I don't fucking to you son of a bitch! Ugh MEN! Talking about MEN! I stop speaking to Luis. He came back from Mass.he was different. He started to ignore me. And when I just got mad I told him fuck it I don't want to talk to him any more. But on Thanksgiving I texted him telling him Happy Thanksgiving, son of a bitch gonna text me saying you too smilely face ! Like nigga ugh go kick rocks.
On Thanksgiving I did cook tho. I even invited Ebony over to spend Thanksgiving with my family and I. But instead that lil tramp went to ...... We will not name names ! JERK!
Well I DON'T KNOW what else to talk about but... Later :)
On Thanksgiving I did cook tho. I even invited Ebony over to spend Thanksgiving with my family and I. But instead that lil tramp went to ...... We will not name names ! JERK!
Well I DON'T KNOW what else to talk about but... Later :)
you be LYINGGGGGG!
What I don't get is why boys try to lie or hide things from me. If I'm not your girl and we're not anything serious why go threw all the trouble to keep something away from me...... Guys try to make me their girl, wife, or "special person" either I fall for it or I don't give them the time of day. Its not because I don't care. Its because I try not to believe the things you boys tell me. I don't see the point in believing a boy who likes to lie and you know he's lying. Which some girls do... See you have the type of girls who know what their getting their selves into but instead of trying to avoid the problem they jump right into it. I think that's just dumb. I used to be like that. And that's the key word, USED. But not anymore. I don't believe shit that a nigga tells me and I don't care if they feel some type of way about it. What kills me is when they give you the same little lines..
- baby I'm different
- how can we build anything if you don't trust me
- I'm not like those other niggas you fucked with
- you dealing with a new nigga
- what niggas you been fucking with shorty?
- I will never hurt you
- yeah shes my girl but things ain't working out
etc....
Some of those things I've heard. Some of those things my girlfriends have told me guys have told them. WHATS WITH YOU BOYS?! Don't you have anything better to do? Then sit there and feed a bitch a bunch of bull or is it just a great past time you have? Don't try to beat me up side the head. Because I've been known as a player, cheater, etc. Its not that I'm a player or a cheater, its that I'm now an Ice Queen. Nor do I have time for you or do I care about the bullshit your feeding me. I'm the type that's quick to see something wrong and get out of it fast. Like I said before I wasn't always like that. And I'll admit to that. But what I'm proud of the most is CHANGING. Which some of these boys out here need to do.
Word of advice guys, I can never be tied down, I'm what you call a 'a wild horse'.
Word of advice guys, I can never be tied down, I'm what you call a 'a wild horse'.
WICKED
So me and my friends went to see Wicked like a week ago. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY. I loved every minute of it and i enjoyed being with Sade and Micaela. Even though we have had our differences in the past we came back and as mature adults put the drama to the side. The play was so fucking funny though. We couldnt stop laughing. It was basically about the other side of the Wizard of Oz being told by the "Wicked Witch". See I had already read the 
book but I was dying to see the play, and I was dying to have my first Play Bill. YUP! Wicked was my VERY first play. And I was so glad that I got to see it with the people who are the funniest to me. Ms. Nee took us. Me, Micaela, and Sade had gotten pizza before the show started, we were dumb hungery.After the show I WAS suppose to be picked up by Daysean, but instead he was tied up with something else.
So we walked down to 34th to Foot Locker so Sade could buy a dam wind breaker lol. By that time Ebony and Daysean showed up and i was excited to see both of them ;]. For reasons which will be never spoken of LML!
the idea of ME
So lately I've been dreaming about my life after high school. And I'm scared as fuck! See I want to be something great and it scares me that I'm going to be leaving my family and going to a new state. My bestfriend doesnt want me to leave but I think its better if I get out there and learn things on my own. See I either want to be a Dentist, Nurse, Marnie Biogiost, or CSI. And I've learned you need to be very smart to be ANY of those. Which scares the crap out of me. Because not only am I scared of failing, I'm scared of not having enough money, or jnust being on my own.
I tell myself almost everyday that I will make it. That I will be something great and not to be scared. But I just go on back into my own little world where I'm with my mom and she does everything for me. Life cant go on like that. I cant count on my mom for every little thing that happens in my life. And I cant always think that when I dont know anything that I can run to her. See its always been me and her since i was little. Then came my step dad and my little brother. Sometimes I still has this idea that its just me and her. But then I look around and see boy toys EVERYWHERE.
College is a big step in any one's life. And if you WANT, THINK, OR TRY
to go any where in life you HAVE to go to college. There are a few people out there who dont got to college. There are even some who dont believe you have to go in order to get in life. WRONG! Everyone and anyone deserve's to go to college and should never have that taken away from them. I have a couple of colleges in mind like, Barry, University of Califronia Berkly, Seplmen, NYU, ULA, Duke, and many more. Im so scared that I dont have the grades. Freshmen and Sophmore year I had 85 averges and above but JR. year I sucked. =/. Something I'm not proud of. But JR. year I went threw a lot. I just want to make sure I'm a somebody and I make it on my own in life...
ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS IS FAILING....
teary EYED
"you work and you work and someone gets hurt, I guess that be me"
So as you all know I suck at relationships. Either I'm a big baby, needy, obsessed, a bitch, etc. Me and my ex Kvon were together for about a year and messing around for like a good 7 to 6 months after the relationship ended. I thought I really loved him at one point. He was my world, my everything. Something I looked forwarded to. But things quickly changed.
Before the summer began, I basically told him to get lost. I couldn't take the drama, pain, heartache, or headache he was giving. He wasn't being the guy I fell in love with any more and I needed to get out of the situation fast. At first it was hard. It was only hard because I didn't have someone new in my life to take my mind off of him. But then my phone broke and i had to go to summer school. So with that said, I kinda had no communication with him and I was too busy trying to do my school work and fix my broken life when he left.
Love is such a strong feeling that a person can get at any time. My best friend Alex, had once told me that LOVE is all in your head. That if you tell your self you don't love the person it goes away. Only part of that is true. Because if you TRY really hard to take your mind off the person the feelings do go away. And if by some chance the things that reminded you of that person don't hurt when you see, think, talk, or hear about them then you have finally moved on from that person. Over the summer I turned into this heartless Ice Queen Bitch. I didn't care about any one but myself and I wasn't looking for a relationship. Almost all the time you tell your self your not looking for one but then some one comes along and changes that. I had a few try to do that to me this summer, but it wasn't happening. I had been in so much pain and drama that i just didn't feel like giving some one a chance. And it wasn't because of my ex that I felt this way it was because I'd seen what it had done to me. I've always been strong and independent, and when Kvon was in my life I lost all of that for love. For something I thought was real love.
When the summer ended, by the time it ALMOST ended. As you know he came back in my life. And I wont lie I basically welcomed him back with open arms. He gave me this story of how he had changed and how a song reminded him of what he had done to me before we stopped speaking. It wasn't until a few days before my best friends Sassy 17 that we got in this big fight and i realized why we had stopped talking from the beginning.
It wasn't because we fraught all the time, couples do that. It wasn't because we didn't get along, cause we had a lot in common and enjoyed each others company. It was because one of us wouldn't let go of some things and try to make it work. And I'm not talking about myself. I wont go on to say that Kvon is this ego hungry jerk, who only cares about him self. But he comes back in my life. Not to make things work, but to know that he can easily walk in and walk out. It's my duty to tell him NO! And peacefully move on with my dreams, goals, and finding my true happiness. Even if that means it wont be with him.
Now I'm not saying that I will lose all love for him. Because yes this was the boy who was my first love, I don't know if I was his. But I do know, that at some point we were in love and we did have happy times.
And those are the times I will NEVER try to forget......
Before the summer began, I basically told him to get lost. I couldn't take the drama, pain, heartache, or headache he was giving. He wasn't being the guy I fell in love with any more and I needed to get out of the situation fast. At first it was hard. It was only hard because I didn't have someone new in my life to take my mind off of him. But then my phone broke and i had to go to summer school. So with that said, I kinda had no communication with him and I was too busy trying to do my school work and fix my broken life when he left.
Love is such a strong feeling that a person can get at any time. My best friend Alex, had once told me that LOVE is all in your head. That if you tell your self you don't love the person it goes away. Only part of that is true. Because if you TRY really hard to take your mind off the person the feelings do go away. And if by some chance the things that reminded you of that person don't hurt when you see, think, talk, or hear about them then you have finally moved on from that person. Over the summer I turned into this heartless Ice Queen Bitch. I didn't care about any one but myself and I wasn't looking for a relationship. Almost all the time you tell your self your not looking for one but then some one comes along and changes that. I had a few try to do that to me this summer, but it wasn't happening. I had been in so much pain and drama that i just didn't feel like giving some one a chance. And it wasn't because of my ex that I felt this way it was because I'd seen what it had done to me. I've always been strong and independent, and when Kvon was in my life I lost all of that for love. For something I thought was real love.
When the summer ended, by the time it ALMOST ended. As you know he came back in my life. And I wont lie I basically welcomed him back with open arms. He gave me this story of how he had changed and how a song reminded him of what he had done to me before we stopped speaking. It wasn't until a few days before my best friends Sassy 17 that we got in this big fight and i realized why we had stopped talking from the beginning.
It wasn't because we fraught all the time, couples do that. It wasn't because we didn't get along, cause we had a lot in common and enjoyed each others company. It was because one of us wouldn't let go of some things and try to make it work. And I'm not talking about myself. I wont go on to say that Kvon is this ego hungry jerk, who only cares about him self. But he comes back in my life. Not to make things work, but to know that he can easily walk in and walk out. It's my duty to tell him NO! And peacefully move on with my dreams, goals, and finding my true happiness. Even if that means it wont be with him.
Now I'm not saying that I will lose all love for him. Because yes this was the boy who was my first love, I don't know if I was his. But I do know, that at some point we were in love and we did have happy times.
And those are the times I will NEVER try to forget......
Let's All Talk SHYT ;]
So there's this girl in my school. If your my friend you know who I'm talking about . So yeah. We haven't liked each other since freshman YEAR. Fuck it I'll say her name I ain't scared, some stupid skinny bitch named Pagan. But yeah on with my story. So we haven't liked each other since freshman year right. OKAY. But JR. year she used to suck my dick ode in the hall ways, classes and shyt. LIKE WTF.
So now every day I ask Kassandra for gum and she's nice enough to give me some.
RIDDLE ME THAT BITCH !
Like MA, you was sucking me ode hard in Chem class and now you feel the need to come out of your face so fuck that.... I got out of my seat and I started mouthing off how much head she used to give me in 8th period.
I once got in an argument with my teacher because he didn't want to give me the notes or tell me the home work, and you know what this little trick did? SHE GAVE ME her notes and her workbook.
BUT SHE FEEL THE NEED TO COME OUT OF PLACE !
Later on that day my best friend told me she heard Pagan saying "Shes like 20 and shes still in High School"
Don't you ever try to tell someone I'm fucking 20! MY NIGGA I still look 16 how you sound -_-.
So the following day, I sat down in my seat OPENED MY MOUTH and loudly spoke to Giovanna.
"She was talking about me saying I was dam there 20, like Ma you stay sucking my dick cause I'm only 18, and I know she know I'm talking about her and she wont come out her face to me" AND PAGAN just looked at me like a lost puppy. Like you pussy bitch ! NO ONE IS SCARED OF YOU! Go back to Queens hoe!
So now on every time I see her , I'm going to kindly say "SUCKING MADDDDD DICK"
goodbye ;]
BITCH WE DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER SO WHY YOU SUCKING MY DICK SO MUCH MA! ! ! ! ! !
A question for the ages. ANY way, there is this other girl Kassandra. When she first came to SMA, I was her friend but things got rough and we stopped talking. OKAY. Then we started again. And I guess along the line her and Pagan became friends.So now every day I ask Kassandra for gum and she's nice enough to give me some.
WHY THIS STUPID LITTLE BITCH FEELS THE NEED TO GIVE KASSANDRA AN ATTITUDE.
Now I ain't sticking up for Kassandra so I don't want any of you to think that. But why the FUCK is she in my biz?
RIDDLE ME THAT BITCH !
I once got in an argument with my teacher because he didn't want to give me the notes or tell me the home work, and you know what this little trick did? SHE GAVE ME her notes and her workbook.
BUT SHE FEEL THE NEED TO COME OUT OF PLACE !
Later on that day my best friend told me she heard Pagan saying "Shes like 20 and shes still in High School"
HOW UP MAMITA, SLOW YOUR FUCKING ROLL, PUMP YOUR BRAKES BITCH 1 IM FUCKING 18 YRS YOUNG. 2 I BET YOU 100 DOLLARS THAT BITCH WOULD NEVER SAY THAT SHYT TO MY FACE !
Don't you ever try to tell someone I'm fucking 20! MY NIGGA I still look 16 how you sound -_-.
So the following day, I sat down in my seat OPENED MY MOUTH and loudly spoke to Giovanna.
"She was talking about me saying I was dam there 20, like Ma you stay sucking my dick cause I'm only 18, and I know she know I'm talking about her and she wont come out her face to me" AND PAGAN just looked at me like a lost puppy. Like you pussy bitch ! NO ONE IS SCARED OF YOU! Go back to Queens hoe!
So now on every time I see her , I'm going to kindly say "SUCKING MADDDDD DICK"
goodbye ;]
The Month of October !
This month is one of my most fav. months. There a number of reason's why. One I LOVE HALLOWEEN ... I guess thats the only reason lol.
Well this month didn't start off the way I wanted it to. See I got put on probation because I was always late for school in JR. Year. Which means this whole quarter I cant join any clubs or sports. AND I need those shyts for my high school transcript for when I go to college. So my Dean, Mr. Duff, was all like I'll be off it and then I can join the clubs, blah blah blah. But then my other Dean, Ms. Hartmen told me I'm on another probation ! WTH!!!!! See JR. year I failed Latin Class. And instead of making me go to summer shool for latin they told me they would give me and my friend Micaela a BIG PROJECT to do for it. Cool right? At first I was like thats really nice, I dont have to stress about latin this summer I can wait and just bust out this amazing project. WRONG! She told me that if I didnt finish it by the end of the quater I'm going to be on probation for the rest of the year. But the nice teacher who replaced my old latin teacher told me she would give me and Micaela UNTIL THE END OF OUR YEAR. So I'm like you guys dont want us to stress about this shyt but now your giving me a time limit? WTF! I WILL DEAD BLOW THAT MOTHER UP ! lmfao nah I'm playing I wouldnt! BUT in my head I'm like baby yes the hell I would.
I just cant wait til Halloween. Alisha wants to go out to the parrade in the Vill. So this should be interresting. And I'm going to be running to get this stomach to go down so I can get a cute slutly costum ;] owwww* I was thinking Alice in Wonderland ( my fav movie ) Snow White, Dorothy, Tinker Bell, who knows. But I know if i work out everyday and eat right until Oct 31, I should be able to look right. HEY. If I can push myself to do a year worth project by like Nov I can fucking lose some more weight. I already lost some, whats a little more pounds to go right. ;)
Well this month didn't start off the way I wanted it to. See I got put on probation because I was always late for school in JR. Year. Which means this whole quarter I cant join any clubs or sports. AND I need those shyts for my high school transcript for when I go to college. So my Dean, Mr. Duff, was all like I'll be off it and then I can join the clubs, blah blah blah. But then my other Dean, Ms. Hartmen told me I'm on another probation ! WTH!!!!! See JR. year I failed Latin Class. And instead of making me go to summer shool for latin they told me they would give me and my friend Micaela a BIG PROJECT to do for it. Cool right? At first I was like thats really nice, I dont have to stress about latin this summer I can wait and just bust out this amazing project. WRONG! She told me that if I didnt finish it by the end of the quater I'm going to be on probation for the rest of the year. But the nice teacher who replaced my old latin teacher told me she would give me and Micaela UNTIL THE END OF OUR YEAR. So I'm like you guys dont want us to stress about this shyt but now your giving me a time limit? WTF! I WILL DEAD BLOW THAT MOTHER UP ! lmfao nah I'm playing I wouldnt! BUT in my head I'm like baby yes the hell I would.
I just cant wait til Halloween. Alisha wants to go out to the parrade in the Vill. So this should be interresting. And I'm going to be running to get this stomach to go down so I can get a cute slutly costum ;] owwww* I was thinking Alice in Wonderland ( my fav movie ) Snow White, Dorothy, Tinker Bell, who knows. But I know if i work out everyday and eat right until Oct 31, I should be able to look right. HEY. If I can push myself to do a year worth project by like Nov I can fucking lose some more weight. I already lost some, whats a little more pounds to go right. ;)
Venus vs Mars
" Well I love him................ but when she walks by I have no choice but to stare :] "
Well as we all know, I like guys and girls right? So my love life is very interesting. With the many different guys that come into it and the many different comes that stop by here and there.
But one thing that I've gotten myself into more and more is the love triangle thing. See there's this guy that i liked a lot. I wont give names because i dont want to put people on blast but I'll give you a clue ;], he makes me smile lol....
And the girl that is well everyone knows who she is because either I'm with her or I'm talking about her.
Now the whole subject of this blog is to explain whats better... BOYS OR GIRLS? Being inlove with the same sex, or different?
Lesbains like girls because..... well I never knew why I liked girls. Maybe cause I think their pretty, have nice bodies, or there's something about them I just cant put my finger on. Girls get you in alot of drama though. Being with the same sex comes with so many issues. See the thing is you both are the same. Same body parts, maybe the same feelings, almost all the time you tell your self this person is just like me. But girls are a NAG! OMG ! All they do is bitch bitch bitch and moe bitching when they dont get their way.
See I used to be like that with Kvon. Talk his ear out with all my nagging and wineing that I did. Now a days I look back and see why it got him so mad lol. I changed though. I learned that when i bitch, nag, cry, and wine niggas dont wanna compley with that shyt. And they dam sure dont feel like hearing it. Over the summer i changed my self into what you can call an ice queen. Nor do i have time for your moaning or bitching. So when my chick starts to bitch all i say is STFU ! I dont feel like hearing your mouth. But who does?
The bad thing about guys and me, is i either fall real hard or I dont trust the poor boy. OR THE BIG THING ABOUT ME THAT I'LL ADMIT IS I FUCKING PLAY THEM. See it takes a lot for a guy to get me to like them. Maybe take me on a few dates, pick me up after school, talk to me, give me attention. And BAM you have my heart. But do you think you have it all? Sometimes when I really like i guy I do something some people call "RUINING" it. Im so scared of being hurt that when I see things are too good to be true I have to get out of it before I lose myself to this wonderful person.
Now we can go back to the beginning. WHO IS BETTER? My guy muahhh* or my lady ;] .
But one thing that I've gotten myself into more and more is the love triangle thing. See there's this guy that i liked a lot. I wont give names because i dont want to put people on blast but I'll give you a clue ;], he makes me smile lol....
And the girl that is well everyone knows who she is because either I'm with her or I'm talking about her.
Now the whole subject of this blog is to explain whats better... BOYS OR GIRLS? Being inlove with the same sex, or different?
Lesbains like girls because..... well I never knew why I liked girls. Maybe cause I think their pretty, have nice bodies, or there's something about them I just cant put my finger on. Girls get you in alot of drama though. Being with the same sex comes with so many issues. See the thing is you both are the same. Same body parts, maybe the same feelings, almost all the time you tell your self this person is just like me. But girls are a NAG! OMG ! All they do is bitch bitch bitch and moe bitching when they dont get their way.
See I used to be like that with Kvon. Talk his ear out with all my nagging and wineing that I did. Now a days I look back and see why it got him so mad lol. I changed though. I learned that when i bitch, nag, cry, and wine niggas dont wanna compley with that shyt. And they dam sure dont feel like hearing it. Over the summer i changed my self into what you can call an ice queen. Nor do i have time for your moaning or bitching. So when my chick starts to bitch all i say is STFU ! I dont feel like hearing your mouth. But who does?
The bad thing about guys and me, is i either fall real hard or I dont trust the poor boy. OR THE BIG THING ABOUT ME THAT I'LL ADMIT IS I FUCKING PLAY THEM. See it takes a lot for a guy to get me to like them. Maybe take me on a few dates, pick me up after school, talk to me, give me attention. And BAM you have my heart. But do you think you have it all? Sometimes when I really like i guy I do something some people call "RUINING" it. Im so scared of being hurt that when I see things are too good to be true I have to get out of it before I lose myself to this wonderful person.
Now we can go back to the beginning. WHO IS BETTER? My guy muahhh* or my lady ;] .
The world may never know cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese**
starting month...
So I already started school and I'm very excited. I have all the classes I want and my grades, even though I just started, are looking great. My best friend, Giovana, is in only one of my classes but that’s okay because I have Micaela in a couple of others. There are new teachers and the same old ones. One that I truly and honestly hate, Ms.Rosado. She’s a &%#$ and needs some #$%@ if you know what I mean. She always has something to say and cant ever just be in a good fucking mood. Like bitch be happy for once it ain’t hard to do. There are also some old teachers still here, one which is my favorite, Ms. Harris or now known as Ms. al Tiye, which I will never get why she changed her name but w.e.
Back at home there’s nothing new. My little brother is in school. Where he is learning, get this SPANISH AND LAW. My little baby is so fucking smart, I’m muy proud of him. On another note my love life went down the hill when me and my ex got in a big fight. Lets just say, he’s AN ASSHOLE, JERK, DICKHEAD, and so much more. He only thinks about him self and him self only. FUCKING GREEDY SON OF A BITCH. But w.e. its all good, cause I got a new boo and I’m happy with the new one I have.
I’ve yet to start the college shyt up because in school with the little homework I get, there’s greater work that I need to do. Like this big ass Latin project that I need to do in order to pass. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Fuck Latin! NAH I LOVE LATIN. I just suck at the reading and writing it shyt. Maybe I should get Rosita Stone.
On a better note, I went to see Wicked with my two friends Micaela and Sade. I already read the book so I really wanted to see how the play was on board way. AND IT WAS FUCKING GREAT. It was the funniest shyt and the best songs. My Music teacher, sadly said she doesn’t like it very much but it has a “really good sound”. -_- . Like chicken head plz, who are you!? Yeah you’re the Music Teacher who can only teach us to appreciate the dam music. SMH.
Back at home there’s nothing new. My little brother is in school. Where he is learning, get this SPANISH AND LAW. My little baby is so fucking smart, I’m muy proud of him. On another note my love life went down the hill when me and my ex got in a big fight. Lets just say, he’s AN ASSHOLE, JERK, DICKHEAD, and so much more. He only thinks about him self and him self only. FUCKING GREEDY SON OF A BITCH. But w.e. its all good, cause I got a new boo and I’m happy with the new one I have.
I’ve yet to start the college shyt up because in school with the little homework I get, there’s greater work that I need to do. Like this big ass Latin project that I need to do in order to pass. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Fuck Latin! NAH I LOVE LATIN. I just suck at the reading and writing it shyt. Maybe I should get Rosita Stone.
On a better note, I went to see Wicked with my two friends Micaela and Sade. I already read the book so I really wanted to see how the play was on board way. AND IT WAS FUCKING GREAT. It was the funniest shyt and the best songs. My Music teacher, sadly said she doesn’t like it very much but it has a “really good sound”. -_- . Like chicken head plz, who are you!? Yeah you’re the Music Teacher who can only teach us to appreciate the dam music. SMH.
I'm gonna make IT!
"The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly."
The end of the year is closer then most people think. Yeah, its still 2009, but soon it'll be 2010 & I'll be off to college. What college? I don't know & I'm not sure. But I know for a fact I want it to be out of state. See I have this thing, this dream, that I want to start a new life somewhere else. Even if that means moving to another state. I think four years in another state would do me well. Only problem is my friends, close friends, all want to stay in New York. I can't do that. I need some space, some more freedom. My mom has always been very over protective with me. She barely let's me out. Not saying I'm on lock but she be just acting funny when I wanna go out, only sometimes though.
I'm thinking about looking at Cali, FL & some states down south. Like Duke, Spelmen, University of California, Berkly and Barry. All great schools, all hard to get into, and all very expensive. That's the most important thing I'm worried aboutM Money, and if I'm going to have enough to go to college of my choice. Which would be great if I could. College is such an important step in my life. I do plan on being something great, a Dentist, a CSI, anything that I would love to do and getting paid great doing it. Lol.....
Well we'll just see what happens at the end of the year ;)
The end of the year is closer then most people think. Yeah, its still 2009, but soon it'll be 2010 & I'll be off to college. What college? I don't know & I'm not sure. But I know for a fact I want it to be out of state. See I have this thing, this dream, that I want to start a new life somewhere else. Even if that means moving to another state. I think four years in another state would do me well. Only problem is my friends, close friends, all want to stay in New York. I can't do that. I need some space, some more freedom. My mom has always been very over protective with me. She barely let's me out. Not saying I'm on lock but she be just acting funny when I wanna go out, only sometimes though.
I'm thinking about looking at Cali, FL & some states down south. Like Duke, Spelmen, University of California, Berkly and Barry. All great schools, all hard to get into, and all very expensive. That's the most important thing I'm worried aboutM Money, and if I'm going to have enough to go to college of my choice. Which would be great if I could. College is such an important step in my life. I do plan on being something great, a Dentist, a CSI, anything that I would love to do and getting paid great doing it. Lol.....
Well we'll just see what happens at the end of the year ;)
New Look, New me?
“You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.”
So since my new school is starting ＆ shyt I'm thinking I need a new look ＆ more then one way. First of all, I want a new hair color ＆ style. Second, new body. YEAH! I've been working out like crazy. Almost everyday I've been running on MY MONSTER treadmill, for about 40 minutes or 30 minutes with my music blasting. So by Oct, hopefully, I've had lost a couple of pounds. Im trying to get down to like 150 pounds. That's gonna take a lot but I think I can do it. I know some girls who need to fucking lose weight ! Fat bitches ! That's one thing I don't like about some girls. Bitches, who be fat ＆ they their the cutest shyt in the world. LIKE MAMITA, you look like a fucking whale what the hell ! NOT cute ! I had a fat friend. She was cool, but that bitch threw soda on me ! Like can you say immature? ＆ the reason why this bitch threw that shyt on me was because one of my other friends wanted to fight her ! Sweetie, you write things on your away msg ＆ you expect for people to not flip? She did that dumb shyt to me ! OMG if I had that away msg still I would show you. Like shorty tried to go ohhdeeee hard on me about some shyt, deleting 1 Group off her buddy list. Like its ovi. it wasn't for that reason. Personally I think she was being a fucking haterrrr! Hating off of what? you may ask. I DONT KNOW But that stupid girl was being the only hater ! But im getting off of topic. So yeah, I need a new hair color. So what's your thoughts? Should I go back to being a Blonde, Multi Color, or like really Light Brown? Yeah I used to be a pretty Blonde once upon a time. But no longer am I . What I don't get is these girls out here doing too MUCH color to their hair?! ＆ IT BE THE UGLY BITCHES who feel the need to be all color creative. Like they all got together ＆ said "lets all look like colorful dicks" cheeesee* bitch please ! IN NEED OF A NEW LOOK, NEW LIFE, NEW ME. :)
signed Amanda Tatianna Alequin
you had me at HELLO!
“What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”
Me ＆ my EX, Kvon, have recently started speaking again. Am I glad? Yeah. Am I scared? Hell Yeah. Why am I scared?! Because me ＆ this boy have been having problems since the beginning. We can never see eye to eye, almost fight about everything. But we can still say I love you ＆ truly mean it. Isn't that amazing?! He's my... well I dont know what he is, but I know he means something right?! I've dated, talked, seen, chilled with a lot of guys, but this one makes me feel s certain way. Some way I've never felt before. We met threw a EX friend that both of us hate.
NOTE: The bitch we both knew, he hated her. HATED! With a capital H . I think that was a sign I should had seen coming. He used to tell me how she annoyed him.
But anyway, I didn't like him when we first met. I thought he was the biggest loser in the world. The first night I met him. Me ＆ my friends clowned his sneakers. JOKES on me! Cause he got me in the end. Another funny thing about me ＆ him. Was how we started dating. We spoke to each other for about two months. I was in involved with another boy. John. OMG ! Don't let me get started about him! He was a "roller blader". WORST kind of guy I could had gotten my self involved with. But do you know why I got myself involved with him? It was because he was something new. BUT, I fucked myself over...............Anyway long story short, I cut him out my life ＆ got with Kvon. (the boy I've been talking about from the beginning) He asked me out, over the phone. ＆ til this day he makes jokes about how, when he asked me I said yes really fast! LIE ! lmfao. Maybe I did, im not sure, but I liked him so much. He was my little basketball player. Cutest thing about him ＆ me, is that he's a COUPLE Of HOURS Older then me. Yes, his birthday is May 31st, ＆ mine is June 1st. Cute right? OMG me ＆ this boy have been having so many problems. This is for him......
No matter what we go threw ＆ all the problems we've had, no matter what I will always have love for you. You make me smile, laugh, get mad, cry, you do everything a husband would do. Not all relationships, even when its not a dating relationship is hard to handle. ＆ me ＆ yours was the most hardest. Even when you had another girl we were still involved saying our I love you's . I dont know if it was true or not but I felt something. It was so hard to get over you but I did. ＆ you came back in my life ＆ I allowed it. I'm going to take it slow ＆ not rush. But baby, I want you to know I will always have love for you. You are something special you are the only boy I've eve allowed to get to me ＆ touch my heart. ♥. only you can make me feel.......loved, happy, sad, joy, beautiful, wonderful, like a woman, gentle, honest, comfortable. ＆ so MUCH MORE!
you will always remain in my ♥, you can NEVER forget your FIRST LOVE :-*.
signed Amanda Tatianna Alequin
SEX, LOVE, GAMES & TOYS!
"I thought we were a real love relationship. I did. I was very invested in love, but it was just this long long sex thing that could end at any moment because after all, it's just about getting off. Almost all the time, you tell yourself you're loving somebody when you're just using them. This only looks like love."
What I dont get is why sex and relationship's always have to be two different things? Can anyone tell me why??
So one thing about guys that I've learned over the years is that their all horn dogs, even when they say their not. Take BEEP, at first he was this great guy that I could had really seen myself dating and in a real realtionship. But instead it turned out he liked my body and wanted to use it for more then just hugs. Talking about we can be cuddy buddies! Like one i dont want to be your fucking cuddy buddy. Two WTF is a CUDDY BUDDY. & three you played your self BRO !
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT ANY WAY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why cant simple girls find simple guys and both want the same thing, before the big S word comes into play. Yeah, we're all human and we all have needs. But sometimes your needs are more then just physical. And sometimes the perfect guy YOU THINK you met turns out to be a totall asshole. Not saying all the guys I've dated were total assholes, but some more then others. And I'm not saying that BEEP was one of them but I'm saying, you thyink you know some one and then BAM it hits you like a ton of bricks. SMH!!!
signed Amanda Tatianna Alequin
my first Blog =p, iBlog.
"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We MUST NEVER, ever be boring."
So,Hello everyone. My name is Amanda ＆ this is my new Blog. I've never had a Blog before so im not sure about what to do. My beautiful ＆ wonderful friend Ebony had made me one, just cause I seen her with one. :]
Its very interesting about people with Blogs. I don't get how people with Blogs can tell their life on open Blogs ＆ allow the world to see it. But I believe Blog are just ways you can express your self ＆ let other viewers see the real you .
This summer has been so crazy to me. I had summer school but I didn't care. I was trying to get into school in East Orange Highschool, New Jersey. But when I went to sign up for the summer school they told me it was full -_- . I mean dam how many dumb asses had to go summer school in East Orange !? So instead I went to Normas Thomas in New York. First day of my class I got lost, lmfao. But these Spanish boys helped me too my class. Where one of my fellow class mates from my school Saint Michael's, Kassandra, was there. Thank God I wasn't alone. My next class was Chem. Man I hate Chem but it was w.e. My bestfriend Giovana sadly didn't have classes with me, but I seen her after classes were done :].
However, besides the whole Summer School shyt, my summer was great. I enjoyed it very much. Instead of the boy drama that I got myself into. Ugh ! MEN ! Their honestly dumb ＆ do dumb shyt ! 24/7. See before the summer started me ＆ my ex broke up kinda. We were almost together for 2 yrs, guess we couldn't make it. ＆ the day I finally let him go I told myself "this is summer, I will find a new boy ;]". My ass did more then find a new one, I found a couple. So that meant drama, drama, drama, ＆ drama. BEEP, of course was my favorite ;]. Funny thing about BEEP, I dont know how me ＆ him even met. ＆ im not kidding. One day we just started talking on aim, ＆ then it started with phone calls. He's so funny ＆ he's sweet. Other CRAZY thing about me ＆ BEEP is this nigga knows another guy I used to talk to, can you say drama. But me ＆ BEEP barely talk now, so I just moved on. Too some new ones. Had my fun, tears, arguments, joy, you name it. But love works in funny ways. My ex, Mr. Jersey Number 4 came back. I won't lie I was happy, over the 2 months we didn't speak I missed him like crazy. But I never showed it or tried to think about it. The more I thought about him the worst I felt. We loved each other so muchhh. But we just couldn't deal with one other. But when he came back, he said his sorry's ＆ explained how he had changed. We been talking, nothing serious, but I wonder if its going to get serious?!
On a better note I met a new friend named Ebony, yeah she's crazy as fuck but I do love her. Its funny because I recently found out when she "knew" about me threw a mutal friend, Giovana, she didn't like me very much. Like I gave a shyt though, who the fuck was Ebony? Who the fuck cared? But now she's my Ebony, in more then one way ;] .
So school starts for me next week, ＆ im ubber excited . But that's all I really have to say, so thinks for reading. ＆ stay in tuned ;) .
signed Amanda Tatianna Alequin
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