"you work and you work and someone gets hurt, I guess that be me"
So as you all know I suck at relationships. Either I'm a big baby, needy, obsessed, a bitch, etc. Me and my ex Kvon were together for about a year and messing around for like a good 7 to 6 months after the relationship ended. I thought I really loved him at one point. He was my world, my everything. Something I looked forwarded to. But things quickly changed.
Before the summer began, I basically told him to get lost. I couldn't take the drama, pain, heartache, or headache he was giving. He wasn't being the guy I fell in love with any more and I needed to get out of the situation fast. At first it was hard. It was only hard because I didn't have someone new in my life to take my mind off of him. But then my phone broke and i had to go to summer school. So with that said, I kinda had no communication with him and I was too busy trying to do my school work and fix my broken life when he left.
Love is such a strong feeling that a person can get at any time. My best friend Alex, had once told me that LOVE is all in your head. That if you tell your self you don't love the person it goes away. Only part of that is true. Because if you TRY really hard to take your mind off the person the feelings do go away. And if by some chance the things that reminded you of that person don't hurt when you see, think, talk, or hear about them then you have finally moved on from that person. Over the summer I turned into this heartless Ice Queen Bitch. I didn't care about any one but myself and I wasn't looking for a relationship. Almost all the time you tell your self your not looking for one but then some one comes along and changes that. I had a few try to do that to me this summer, but it wasn't happening. I had been in so much pain and drama that i just didn't feel like giving some one a chance. And it wasn't because of my ex that I felt this way it was because I'd seen what it had done to me. I've always been strong and independent, and when Kvon was in my life I lost all of that for love. For something I thought was real love.
When the summer ended, by the time it ALMOST ended. As you know he came back in my life. And I wont lie I basically welcomed him back with open arms. He gave me this story of how he had changed and how a song reminded him of what he had done to me before we stopped speaking. It wasn't until a few days before my best friends Sassy 17 that we got in this big fight and i realized why we had stopped talking from the beginning.
It wasn't because we fraught all the time, couples do that. It wasn't because we didn't get along, cause we had a lot in common and enjoyed each others company. It was because one of us wouldn't let go of some things and try to make it work. And I'm not talking about myself. I wont go on to say that Kvon is this ego hungry jerk, who only cares about him self. But he comes back in my life. Not to make things work, but to know that he can easily walk in and walk out. It's my duty to tell him NO! And peacefully move on with my dreams, goals, and finding my true happiness. Even if that means it wont be with him.
Now I'm not saying that I will lose all love for him. Because yes this was the boy who was my first love, I don't know if I was his. But I do know, that at some point we were in love and we did have happy times.
And those are the times I will NEVER try to forget......
Before the summer began, I basically told him to get lost. I couldn't take the drama, pain, heartache, or headache he was giving. He wasn't being the guy I fell in love with any more and I needed to get out of the situation fast. At first it was hard. It was only hard because I didn't have someone new in my life to take my mind off of him. But then my phone broke and i had to go to summer school. So with that said, I kinda had no communication with him and I was too busy trying to do my school work and fix my broken life when he left.
Love is such a strong feeling that a person can get at any time. My best friend Alex, had once told me that LOVE is all in your head. That if you tell your self you don't love the person it goes away. Only part of that is true. Because if you TRY really hard to take your mind off the person the feelings do go away. And if by some chance the things that reminded you of that person don't hurt when you see, think, talk, or hear about them then you have finally moved on from that person. Over the summer I turned into this heartless Ice Queen Bitch. I didn't care about any one but myself and I wasn't looking for a relationship. Almost all the time you tell your self your not looking for one but then some one comes along and changes that. I had a few try to do that to me this summer, but it wasn't happening. I had been in so much pain and drama that i just didn't feel like giving some one a chance. And it wasn't because of my ex that I felt this way it was because I'd seen what it had done to me. I've always been strong and independent, and when Kvon was in my life I lost all of that for love. For something I thought was real love.
When the summer ended, by the time it ALMOST ended. As you know he came back in my life. And I wont lie I basically welcomed him back with open arms. He gave me this story of how he had changed and how a song reminded him of what he had done to me before we stopped speaking. It wasn't until a few days before my best friends Sassy 17 that we got in this big fight and i realized why we had stopped talking from the beginning.
It wasn't because we fraught all the time, couples do that. It wasn't because we didn't get along, cause we had a lot in common and enjoyed each others company. It was because one of us wouldn't let go of some things and try to make it work. And I'm not talking about myself. I wont go on to say that Kvon is this ego hungry jerk, who only cares about him self. But he comes back in my life. Not to make things work, but to know that he can easily walk in and walk out. It's my duty to tell him NO! And peacefully move on with my dreams, goals, and finding my true happiness. Even if that means it wont be with him.
Now I'm not saying that I will lose all love for him. Because yes this was the boy who was my first love, I don't know if I was his. But I do know, that at some point we were in love and we did have happy times.
And those are the times I will NEVER try to forget......
