the idea of me part 2.
all i can think about right now i college. and applying to college and what ima do when im in college. OMG ! thinking about this scares the hell out of me. IDK what to do or what i want. But i do know the colleges im applying to :)
Precious
I had recently seen the movie precious and it made me think allot about the relationship's that are between parents and children. As far as i know i have a good relationship with my mom , but i don't know about my father too much. My mom had me when she was 18 years old. Ever since then always looked up to her. I used to want to be just like her. She was the light , my star, the apple of my eye. Basically everything. She meant the world to and she does. But idk about my father. When i was 6 my parents separated. I wasn't like sacred for life or anything because i still seen him but i don't think he deserved the father of the year award. See...
I FUCKING LOVE MY FATHER! He cant always give me what i want but when he can he does. However, right now i cant really respect him because we're not talking at the moment. He did something that i couldn't respect very much. He basically caused a scene in public on 44th st, in front of my mothers job while my close friend Alex was with me. You know that thing where the one man in your life is your dad and you never want anything bad to happen between you two, but when something does you feel worst in side if your boyfriend crushed you? Well that's how i felt. Alex was saying if i was okay but i just held the tears in and told her i was fine. She was stroking my hair and telling that what he did was wrong and she was shocked her self.
Being hurt by your parents i think is honestly the worst..... Who knows if I'll ever speak to my dad again maybe... sooner or later.
I FUCKING LOVE MY FATHER! He cant always give me what i want but when he can he does. However, right now i cant really respect him because we're not talking at the moment. He did something that i couldn't respect very much. He basically caused a scene in public on 44th st, in front of my mothers job while my close friend Alex was with me. You know that thing where the one man in your life is your dad and you never want anything bad to happen between you two, but when something does you feel worst in side if your boyfriend crushed you? Well that's how i felt. Alex was saying if i was okay but i just held the tears in and told her i was fine. She was stroking my hair and telling that what he did was wrong and she was shocked her self.
Being hurt by your parents i think is honestly the worst..... Who knows if I'll ever speak to my dad again maybe... sooner or later.
Great Things To Come! :)
So in Feb i will be going to both Hawaii and Spelmen College. Hawaii was my moms idea. My step dads brother's wife has a house out there so this whole big family trip is being planned. And of course i invited my BEST FRIEND to come along. I know Giovana loves going and traveling to different places, and we have a Mid-Break so HEY! Might as well bring her ass! ILHER. And the Spelmen trip is to visit my dream school. AHHHHHH! Spelmen is a top school. All Black, in the ATL. and just down right perfect. I would love to go there and then join AKA ! My mom really wants me to join AKA so badly. But Mrs.McClintock says " amanda seriously? a girl like you? your too sm
art to jin that. i thought you would have the brains enough to know better. SERIOUSLY!" lol i do like mrs.mcclintock and i respect her say but its my choice!!! SO COUNTDOWN TO BOTH THANK GOD!
Simple or Mistake?
Well everyone knows i make very bad choices! And almost all the time i cant make up my mind. But if I'm being stupid and not doing something right fuck yo some one just tell me deadass! Sometimes i think that going back to you is the best idea and then you do shyt. Like shouldnt i just let some things go? I guess some people may say yeah AMANDA let some things go. BUT i cant ! I HAVE A HABBIT of holding on to things that ehhhh maybe i shouldnt?!
JUST WILL SOMEONE SMACK SENSE AND WISDOM IN ME ! >:o
month of nov !
New month new things?!well this month is like I guess something new. I found out that in Feb I might be going to Hawaii which will be great cause I need a lil break from this fucking crazy ass place. Besides that good news my school shyt is fucking up. I havnt failed any of my classes but I didn't get any honors I could kick Mr.Duff's ass! I didn't fucking get honors because that bald headed eagle gave me dermits like 3 in one shot n then 2 more the next day. Like it seemed like this punk bitch was happy about that ! Fucking lser I swear. Now he always trying to say hi to me n shyt and I just walk away like as if I don't know him. He gonna ask Sade why doesn't Amanda say hi to me? Because I don't fucking to you son of a bitch! Ugh MEN! Talking about MEN! I stop speaking to Luis. He came back from Mass.he was different. He started to ignore me. And when I just got mad I told him fuck it I don't want to talk to him any more. But on Thanksgiving I texted him telling him Happy Thanksgiving, son of a bitch gonna text me saying you too smilely face ! Like nigga ugh go kick rocks.
On Thanksgiving I did cook tho. I even invited Ebony over to spend Thanksgiving with my family and I. But instead that lil tramp went to ...... We will not name names ! JERK!
Well I DON'T KNOW what else to talk about but... Later :)
On Thanksgiving I did cook tho. I even invited Ebony over to spend Thanksgiving with my family and I. But instead that lil tramp went to ...... We will not name names ! JERK!
Well I DON'T KNOW what else to talk about but... Later :)
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