REALLY written Dec 8,2009.
falling out of love is hard... its even harder when the other person does it before you & the love they had turns into only "like". why? why when things seem good you have to ruin them. I didn't ask for much from him. I barely told him how I really felt out of pure fear. fear for losing him & fear for losing myself. when some one has hurt you as much as he as to me it isn't easy. its really OVER Now and what kills me the most is I'm the one who said it. All I did was ask him to tell me how he felt about me and he couldn't even do that much. It takes a lot for me to open up these days and for you to throw it all away just like that breaks me down. you CAN'T break my heart, honestly can't. cause sometimes I feel like I don't even have a heart. But I keep reminding myself of the times we did have. what did I do that was so wrong? was it wrong for me to say "I can't do it, I'm sorry its over". And you never write back to me? I WAS WRONG? NO! I wasn't when you've given someone your all & their not doing the same what more can you do but pull out. I didn't want too. I REALLY didn't. I thought this time around it would be different. I thought he was going to be different. that I was going to feel safe. But I didn't, & I told him that. I explained that I didn't trust him because he's hurt me before. I told him I didn't even want to tell him that cause I didn't want to lose him..... but its over now so does it even matter to think about it? I guess not.... its just cause everything hurts a lot right now.
xoxo Amanda .
