I recently had to do a very hard thing. I had to have a convo with my ex and officially end things. Not that there was a "thing" to begin with but that that there WAS something to end. I didn't want to, I had the chance to still get what I want from this person, but I didn't I've gain too much respect for myself to lose it for a one night stand. A little more action isn't as important as my self respect. Yeah I wouldn't mind being with this person one last time, but whats the use? I came too far to go back to the old ways. I've talked TOO MUCH bull shyt about others to turn around and do the dumb shyt. I cant and i refuse to be that girl, who you once had and think you can have when ever. After explaining basically this in few or little words my ex was saying sorry like crazy. But the damaged had been done. I seen how my ex viewed me. I let them get to comfortable in thinking and feeling they could say what ever and do what ever. I am a independent woman, I stand around and wait for no one. And I dam sure ain't about to let someone come along and change things up for me now. NOPE! I will not ! Things are different, but my ex asked me a very important question. And I gave them a very important answer. They asked, "When I'm rich, I cant have you?" I said "I wanted you when you didn't have the money, money ain't a thing"
And that was honestly real. That's how I truly felt. I loved you before you became famous and I'm still going to love you. As long as things don't change you'd always remain the same. But even with a question like that I had to tell the truth, you cant have me when YOU want. I doesn't work that way. Cause ONE when I want you when I want it, you don't supply it. TWO I'm not a doll you can just play with and when you've grown out of it put it in your toy box and some time around take me out to remembered the "good-old-days"AND YES that alone hurt, YEAH it was the right thing to do, but sometimes the right thing doesn't always feel good when your used to doing the wrong thing and feeling alright about that. But I'm tried of doing the wrong time, its time to do the right thing. It's time for me to realize I mean more then just this and that. I know my ex tells my they love me, but should I believe them? Should I throw everything they've put me threw aside and act like since they said this things are different? No! I have to take in to account what they've REALLY done and think hard about the person I want to be. My friend Micaela had told me something once. She said when a person Loves you they're the ones who hurt you the most. They're the ones who bring you both happiness and pain. That theory applies to friends too. Your closest friend can bring you the biggest pain."broken hearted girl" I wont be that girl who has to be sad about this. I can be sad, but I wont let this ruin my life. I will keep pushing and keep doing me. That's all that matters right? I finally learned, its MY happiness that comes first.
